My last therapy session centered around my least favorite thing to talk about.
That one part of my life that I try not to think about too hard, because it always brings up such a strong wave of grief, always asks me questions I don’t know how to answer (or gives me answers I hate), always taunts me with its unsolvability.
For weeks, I’d been feeling the rumblings of that conversation coming. Realizing there was a part of myself carrying the weight of this circumstance, and noticing the impact of that weight on my current relationships, in ways that didn’t feel fair to myself or my loved ones. I knew it was time.
And yet when I told my therapist what I wanted to talk about, I still felt fear slice through my chest.
Yet, when I named that fear instead of turning away from it, I found another truth being held, alongside and underneath that fear.
As silly as it sounds, I felt a part of myself realize that talking about my feelings really is just talking about my feelings. That sitting in a Google Meet recounting a story (even the saddest story I’ve got) is not the same thing as being in danger. That maybe it could even be casual, curious, chill. It’s just a story. They’re just thoughts.
And any feeling they bring up is, in fact, a feeling my body was built to hold.
Today’s prompts invited us to explore the spaces we’ve been trying really hard not to look at…the feelings we’re hoping to ignore, the situations we’d rather not address.
What happens if we give them even just a few minutes of attention?
What happens if we trust ourselves to be able to hold them?
What if they’re just information that would like to be acknowledged?
Let’s find out together!
In case it helps, here’s a photo of Breck looking cute.
Day 5!!
For all watching the replay, you are invited to make your presence known! Drop a comment, let me know where you’re watching from, share what surprised, confused, or delighted you in this practice. Your participation shapes the experience we all have!
Today we listened to some of my favorite chill classical pieces.
I’ll be back tomorrow morning (7am central) with new prompts and new music and a new opportunity to discover ourselves.
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